


Only I will remain

by Nelja-in-English (Nelja)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Casual Sex, Dark, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt, Infidelity, Isolation, Lonely!Tim, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, One Night Stands, POV Alternating, Sad Ending, Some Tim Stoker/Original character, Unhealthy Relationships, season 4 rewriting, tim stoker lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:15:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23083060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelja/pseuds/Nelja-in-English
Summary: "I'll bet on that one," Peter says, in Elias' office. AU where Peter wants to convert Tim to the Lonely.
Relationships: Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Peter Lukas/Tim Stoker
Comments: 49
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Betareading by Onnastik. Thank you!

This Martin Blackwood has so much potential, Peter concedes. And furthermore he’s cute, the kind of cute that makes anyone burn to hurt him. But he doesn't like Elias' smile when he comments on it.

"Can I see the others?"

Yes, that's more like it. Peter doesn't know human beings very well, but he knows Elias. He can see he's not entirely happy about the question. If Peter wants to make a bet of it, he'd like to know all of his options.

"Wasn’t the policewoman here?" Elias asks.

She was, but she is useless. Wrapped in her intense, beating, disgusting love for her partner. "I want to have a look at all of them," he insists. If only to see Elias be mad about it.

The other girl, the Slaughter-touched one, loves no one and feels like no one loves her, but she's too deep into her own Power to mind, and that's too much work for Peter.

He almost would have missed the last one, the one that hides in the tunnels and craves revenge against the Stranger. He doesn't come into the Institute that often. But it was worth waiting, because the way he cuts himself from every human contact on purpose is intoxicating. Peter doesn't even leave the fog, doesn't want to break the isolation. He just looks at him, appreciates his wild looks as well as his potential.

"I'll bet on that one," he says later, in Elias' office.

Elias shrugs. "You'll have to catch him first, but fine. It's a bet."

* * *

The explosion is a relief; Peter was watching from the other side of the street, following his sweet prize, and still he was feeling the effects of the Unknowing, making him forget what was a person, forget what being alone was.

But now it's finished, and he has to act fast. He doesn't care about the Archivist; that's Elias' job. He's just looking for his prize. He finds him bleeding under rubble, takes him into the Lonely. They should have time to make a deal here; the End is everywhere, but even death moves more slowly here, like a fog.

"Tim," he says. "I have an interest in you. I want to help you."

"Fuck you," the man answers, before even looking at him. But then he does, because Beholding types can never resist knowing. "You're... one of those assholes with the fog and the money. Lukas, that's it."

Peter nods. 

"If you want to help me, let me die alone."

It's not really going in the direction Peter planned, but he can't help being delighted by the overall feeling. "I promise I will do that," he answers. "But there's no urgency."

"There kind of is," Tim answers, showing his wounds. His bleeding has slowed down, the fog too thick to let it out.

"I can save you. Or rather, teach you how to save yourself." He looks Tim right in the eyes. It's a bit painful, even if they are very beautiful eyes. "You won't have to go back to the Archives. They'll still miss you, but you'll get to be the silent witness of it, enjoy it."

He can see he used the right words. Tim averts his eyes, for one second not daring to laugh at everything Peter is. "You want me to sign up for your evil God. You're not the first."

"And it would not be the first time you accepted," Peter answers. "You associated yourself with the Eye, in the end, to save the world. I was watching you. The thing is, I need you to save the world once again."

"I wanted revenge. I'm not interested in this," Tim says. He's looking away, to the ruins of the museum.

"There's a new Power out there," Peter explains. "Or rather, there will be soon. Some call it the Extinction. You're young, you can understand what it means."

Tim looks at him. Yes, it's painful, the kind of pain Peter can get used to. Tim isn't really looking at him, he's looking through him. "Will I escape the Eye?"

"Not immediately. But with time and devotion, yes, you will."

Tim sighs. "Tell me how it works."

"Just think about all the people you never want to see again," Peter whispers in his ear. "And then we need to seal it..."

He isn't sure how, a symbolic gesture, probably. Usually it's slow, with education, but Tim needs to get there faster, if he wants not to die from the after-effects of the explosion.

And then Tim grabs him by the collar and kisses him, viciously, with anger and resentment. Peter is glad he doesn't need to breathe. Yes, it will do. It will do very well.


	2. Chapter 2

Firemen and paramedics haven't found Tim's body, for obvious reasons. He loves that everyone believes he's dead. It makes it feel almost true, sometimes.

Daisy is missing too, though Tim has no idea where she is, and is fully not caring. Jon is in a deep coma, Elias is in prison, and Peter is the new Head of the Institute.

He doesn't seem to enjoy it very much, and Tim doesn't plan to be very hard-working as an assistant.

"You recruited me to serve your loneliness god, and to save the world," he says. "I'm not doing your Excel sheets. Yes, I know how to do them. How will you force me, exactly?"

Peter sighs, averts his gaze, and doesn't seem bothered to find a way. Instead he hands him one more statement he found about the Extinction. Or that's what he tells him. Numbers station, disappearance of a whole village, and... Tim hates to give credit to Peter Lukas, but it seems true.

It should be a consolation, that Tim didn't jump into this well of evil for nothing. But he doesn't especially appreciate the idea of the world ending. Again. Even if it's not the circus. He wants it to be false, for the sake of humanity, not just for proving Peter wrong.

Or is it? He's gotten deep in the Lonely already.

He wants to save the world, he really does. When he thinks about people he'll never meet, he knows they deserve to live. It's not about the people he knows, that's all.

He tries to forget Peter, and focuses on Adelard Dekker, who seemed a decent enough guy, and a friend of Gertrude to boot. He can work on _his_ pet project.

"Aren't you going to record them on tapes?" Peter asks, appearing from thin air. Tim hates when he does that.

"I hate those fuckers," Tim answers with a smile full of teeth.

"I still need you Beholding-touched," Peter answers. "I could do it myself otherwise."

"Yeah, don't worry, the Big Bastard Eye touched me enough." Tim steps up, closer to Peter, defying him with his gaze.

"I don't think so..." 

And then Peter disappears into his mist. He hates confrontation that much, and Tim is angry at being dodged, because he feels like an aimless bullet these days.

* * *

"I'm doing it my way," Tim insists. He's not eager to listen to Peter's opinions about his personal life. "Stop underestimating me. You know I'm serving the Lonely. You just like to pretend you're some kind of old master who knows better. No attachments. Yeah, no shit."

Peter doesn't comment, and Tim takes it as his blessing. That's the good thing about lack of communication. It can mean whatever you want it to.

In the evening, he goes to his favourite club. The sound is so heavy no one can talk to each other, even deeper than the silence. He dances and drinks and easily finds someone who wants to go further, who invites him home.

The man is very cute and happy, and introduces himself as Vijay. He tries to make small talk and to offer him something to drink, but Tim is not in the mood. So he sucks his cock, and listens to him talk about so many small things from his life that he will forget soon, and he doesn't even mind, because he doesn't care, at all.

Tim is so tender when he begs Vijay to fuck him. These are words from an improvised play, nothing like what he feels - if he feels something. He's not sure if it's a comedy or a tragedy, or just a cheap porn. But Vijay seems to go for his role. He enjoys himself, and pleases Tim just fine. But his nice, slender cock is not what makes Tim salivate.

It's Vijay's eyes when he asks Tim for his phone number, and Tim says no. It's his sadness when he asks for a last kiss, and Tim delivers, hot and cold and perfect, leaving Vijay wanting and longing. This is how it feels, he realizes. Feeding someone's God with crumbs of misery. It's what they all do? It's evil, and he doesn't care. He feels whole. He will do this again.

* * *

"Want to spy on your former friends?" Peter asks.

"Not the Eye's anymore, remember." 

"You can just close your eyes, then. Feel how alone they feel. Breathe it with them."

And Tim agrees, because he has nothing else to do - because he's curious. He must confess that Peter Lukas is good at his thing. Not counting. Making Tim feel like he's really alone.

It doesn't change when he looks at his ex-coworkers. He doesn't care about Basira. He resents Martin less these days, but it's because he doesn't care. And while he respects Melanie's anger, he doesn't want to talk to her. To anyone. He wants to stay away. Peter asked him to do it, and that was the only time he thought about talking to them, out of spite. It didn't last long.

"I will leave you," Peter says, and Tim curses, because it means if he doesn't want questions to be asked about his miraculous survival, he needs to go invisible all by himself. He's ashamed of a lot of things, but most of them amount to having failed to die.

Fortunately, he thinks he understood the trick. He thinks about Danny, about Sasha, about how he misses them but wouldn't have anything to tell them. About how he remembers too well the monster versions of them.

And he actually can feel that Martin thinks about Jon, and Basira thinks about Daisy, and Melanie thinks about her father, and they are as sad as he is... no. That's not the way he needs to see it. He embraced it. He used it to advance. 

"Do you want to hurt them?" Peter asks.

Tim shrugs. "Maybe. I want to hurt you more, though."

"I won't make it easy for you," Peter answers, playful, touching Tim's cheek. It feels good, because it's empty. Peter wants him, and he wants it to mean nothing.

It feels even emptier when Peter fucks him, bent over Tim's old desk, rough and mechanical at the same time. His cock is large and cold and without mercy. His arms are muscular, his hands big and firm. He smells like sweat and fog. Tim feels used, and enjoys the feeling. He once believed that sexual intimacy could help you understand people. He's glad he knows better now.

* * *

It all goes well, really. Tim gets used to his new life. He reads statements, and waits for Peter to tell him more about them. Or at least, he pretends to. He tries to learn most things by himself. He doesn't really trust Peter. 

He stops feeling anything.

Sometimes they fuck; it's Peter trying to avoid talking to him, it's Tim avoiding having to pretend he cares.

And then, Jon wakes up after eight months of sleeping, like the lazy ass he is. Tim was just going to the Archives for extra documentation, unseen, and there he sees Jon’s tired face and remembers what real anger feels like.


	3. Chapter 3

Jon's memory is full of holes. He remembers going to fight Nikola, but not like it was yesterday. It seems to him that many things happened in the meantime, but he's forgotten all of them. It seems that he woke up for a reason, but he's forgotten it. It seems that Georgie knows more than she wants to say about it, and it makes her - not afraid, it's Georgie, but almost disgusted.

Basira is here, Martin too, still soft and sweet even after having beaten Elias at his own game. Melanie didn't come, and Jon doesn't like the way they're talking about her, but - there's worse. Daisy is lost, and in the end, Jon is surprised to discover he kind of liked her. And Tim is lost.

Jon had promised Tim he wouldn't lose him too.

It makes coming back to the Institute heavy. But Jon doesn't want to lose hope. He wants to fix things.

He needs to fix things, because once he was shopping, going through his new, weird life, and he took a statement from one person who didn't want to - they give it willingly - of course they didn't want to, and now they’re frozen in terror in Jon's dreams, lost forever in an infinite warehouse.

He should talk about it, except that - Martin is still nice to him, still smiling at him, he can't lose that.

When he removes the bullet from Melanie's leg, he knows that she will resent him hard, and it's fair. He doesn't know that he will feel a hole in his soul, that the only way to make it stop will be to steal terror made of graves and aging, from another helpless human.

He needs to fix this. Everyone at the Institute seems lost in a fog of sadness. He can't allow this. He's responsible for them.

Martin is still looking at him with worry. Does he still like him? Jon doesn't dare to ask. Martin deserves better anyway, Jon has to repeat to himself when he's tempted to ask. His curiosity is already out of control and offering himself would be a poor gift.

He thanks him more effusively for the tea, though, and he's almost sure Martin is blushing, but he doesn't want to assume anything. Eight months have passed. It's a long time.

When Breekon leaves the coffin in the Archives, he knows he must try and save Daisy too. He must try and save everyone, and then maybe his debt will be paid.

Melanie helps him find Jared, to take a rib away, even promises not to tell Martin. Maybe there's hope, maybe one day she will no longer hate him. And then he dives willingly into the coffin, and finds Daisy. She's unexpectedly friendly, and it makes him feel like he’s a good person, like he was right to try this. Maybe even like someone can stop being a monster. When he realizes he can't go back, he's sadder for her than for himself.

And then he feels it. The call of something, not of the part of his body he left, of something else, part of his soul. When they stagger out the coffin, exhausted, Martin is there. He's surrounded by a pile of tape recorders, all playing every statement Jon has ever recorded. His face is very pale. Jon had chosen a moment when he was sleeping.

"Don't do this to me again," Martin says. There are tears on his face. "You're hiding everything from me."

And then Basira enters the room. There's a very confusing, tense moment, but finally Basira and Daisy embrace. And Jon can see Martin's arms trembling, can see how much he wants this, and he doesn't think, he throws himself into Martin's arms. When Martin kisses him, he kisses back. He wants this, but more importantly, for mysterious reasons, Martin wants this. Martin's lips are soft and he smells like home.

Jon doesn't tell him what he's done. He doesn't even tell when he steals a third story, of loneliness and maggots, because if Martin knew... he can't lose him again, he can't make him sad again. Sometimes Martin holds him so tight that he can't move, and he wants to stay that way forever.

He wants to trust him and to be trusted by him - by all of his friends, really. With who he is, he's not sure if it's possible.

When the Eye lets into his brain a wave that floods his head with the knowledge that Tim is alive, that he's working for Peter Lukas, that he's in the Institute right now, he should assume it will be hard to reach him. He should tell everyone of the risks and the stakes. But instead he runs up, fearing that if he doesn't do it right now he will stop knowing where Tim is, and then he'll never learn it again.

* * *

Jon enters without knocking. He's too afraid of Tim disappearing into the void. 

"You're alive." he says, "Tim, tell me what..."

But before he's finished his sentence, Tim has come around the table and grabbed Jon by his shirt, interrupting him. "Don't ask any questions."

Jon swallows hard. Tim is here, his hand is warm against Jon's throat. He wants him back. He can't ask questions, so he can only talk about himself, which will infuriate Tim.

"I'm so glad you didn't die," he says. "I didn't know."

"You weren't supposed to know," Tim retorts. "But you are a monster that sticks its nose in everything."

Jon shivers in shame, because it's true.

"I understand why you hate me," he says. He thinks about the statements he took by force, the terror in his victims' eyes. "But there are other people missing you, here in the Archives - not only here, I'm sure!" He wants to add something about not knowing much about his personal life, before remembering he has stalked Tim in the past and it might anger him again.

"I absolutely don't care about them." Tim answers.

"There have to be some people you want to see!"

"I want to see my brother!" Tim shouts. "I want to see Sasha! You can't bring them back, so stop this!"

"I'm so sorry," Jon says, lowering his head. He feels a deep pang of regret - he was friends with Tim once. Then he broke everything beyond repair. He feels so sad, in this loneliness he's guilty of.

Tim's hands go up, cup Jon's face, but his eyes are still cold.

"You really want to make it up to me," he says. "That's some progress, I guess, though I'm not sure you can."

And he kisses him on the lips.

Jon's brain stops working. It's not - it's not loving like Martin, oh, no, what will Martin think of this? It's burning and aggressive, but it's also harsh in a way that makes electricity run to his brain, pleasurable as only deserved pain can be.

"You're pitiful," he sneers.

"I want to save you from Peter Lukas," Jon says. "Let me try."

Tim laughs at that. It's not a nice laugh, but it's personal, not distant, and Jon wants to believe it means something.

"Will you let me take my revenge on you?" Tim asks.

"Hit me, please," Jon answers. He's getting self-destructive, and the worse thing is, he loves this. It's not even a surprise.

Tim, surprisingly cooperative, slaps him indeed, and the pain feels good. Jon never really answered his question, but to be fair, he doesn't protest either when Tim almost throws him against the desk and vehemently lowers Jon's pants. Jon closes his eyes, and hopes he can show something by enduring it. Tim's cock is hard already, impatient, and lubed enough to enter fast. It's - Jon hates that it hit spots that make him shiver in pleasure, even more than Tim's angry nails scratching his sides.

"Did you sleep with Martin already?" Tim asks. Jon shivers. He didn't. He doesn't want to. This is a punishment, he doesn't want this with Martin. Tim's strong hands mark Jon's flesh, bruise him, mark his mind with sharp, delightful pain.

"How stupid are you?" Tim keeps going, strong and slow, dirty pleasure building up in Jon's belly despite his discomfort and self-disgust. "How do you plan to tell him? I guess that you will lie to him? Again?"

It's unfair, Jon wants to say, he doesn't lie to Martin. Except that he knows that after a while, not telling the truth is as good as lying. Hoping you're intimidating enough that no one will ask...

Jon is surprised by his orgasm, dirty and overwhelming. It's not even finished when he feels Tim's semen spurt inside him.

He wants to catch one of those hands that were holding his hips only an instant ago, he wants to hold him, but he can't, every part of Tim's body has become elusive, and when he finds the strength to turn around, he can't find him anywhere. He thinks about summoning his powers, forcing him to show himself, but how could that not make things even worse?

Tears run down his cheeks. Someone is watching. Maybe the Eye, maybe Elias, maybe Tim, maybe Peter Lukas, enjoying the show. Enjoying Jon being left alone and trembling with shame.

* * *

"Tim is alive," Jon says. "He's working for Peter Lukas, and I want him back, but I don't know how. I don't know."

This doesn't erase the feeling that he's lying to Martin, not one bit. That they can never be close, and that trying will only separate them and hurt them both.


	4. Chapter 4

Someone knocks at the door; Tim feels a rush of irritation. The room is meant to be empty. But some people - maybe it's Jon - don't know when to stop. And some people won't stop at a closed door. Tim knows; he's one of these people, and already, he's getting ready to turn invisible.

"Tim?" It's Martin's small voice. "Is it true, are you here?" There's a miserable hope in his voice, and Tim knows it burns too bright for not answering to make it die. Martin will try and try again.

They were friends once. There was a time Tim got angry that Martin took Jon's side. He still judges Martin for it, of course, but he no longer misses him.

"Are you alone?" Tim asks.

It's a way of asking that sounds more like _Are you lonely?_ Tim smiles. He's not even sure he did it on purpose, but it's what he is.

"Yes! I need to see you, Tim! What has Peter done to you? Did he make you fake your death? We were all mourning you!"

"You can come in," Tim says. Martin looks like he's been running. "But don't touch me."

Martin stops himself mid-gesture. It's hard for him to respect such a simple boundary. Though maybe he just wants to check if Tim is a ghost.

"Will you come back?" Martin asks.

Tim laughs bitterly. He'd thought he could deal with stupid questions. Not really, it seems.

"Did you forget how much I hated that place? Did a monster rewrite your brain again?"

For just a moment, Martin seems less of a doormat. "I'm just afraid Peter Lukas rewrote _yours_." But it doesn't last long, as he says "Please, just come and visit us from time to time."

It's a choice Tim made. Peter Lukas didn't _do_ anything to him rather than giving instructions, mostly in an obscure way, because he doesn't know what a simple explanation means. Like his instructions for "saving the world" are cryptic too. If he knew more, maybe he would throw that in Martin's face - no, he's not the one who has to justify himself.

"So how is it, dating Jon?" he asks. "As good as in your dreams?"

Martin stammers, blushes, and Tim has to interrupt him, because it's too embarrassing. "Are you inviting me to fuck Jon again? He must have told you he let me fuck him, did you? Just a few days ago."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You can ask him if you don't believe me." It doesn't answer the question. And Tim can see Martin believes him, that his insecurity about his appearance and his qualifications is catching back up to him.

And Tim feels kind of bad about it - but also, it feeds him, it feeds Peter Lukas' god, maybe even Elias' god of secrets - and for both of these reasons, he disappears and leaves Martin alone.

* * *

When Tim finds the statement on his desk, even as he reads the first lines, he thinks Peter Lukas has found another statement vaguely related to the Extinction, and doesn't want to have a chat about reading it. This, honestly, is his right, and also all for the best. Tim won't record them or read them out loud, never, but he still reads them.

_Statement of Isaac Price, regarding his brother's new job_

Tim starts to read the basic personal details, two brothers who love each other... He has the impression it stings less that it used to, maybe it's his revenge, maybe it's the Lonely shielding him.

When he reaches the part where Isaac's brother, Sam, got employed by Peter Lukas, he immediately knows someone else left this for him. But even resentment can't make him stop reading, at this point. He learns how Sam's new work hours were weird, how it often stopped them spending time together.

At one time, they had a fight, because both Isaac and Sam swore the other wasn't answering their calls. After a while, they determined it was a technical problem: texts that were shown as sent hadn't actually been sent. But Isaac thought he wasn't able to freely laugh about it. It felt bad. They had become distant. 

The last night Isaac had seen Sam, he wasn't reflecting in the mirror.

He has thought about vampires. He has thought about ghosts. He had taken a photograph of him, where Sam was some kind of mist. He hasn't dared to mention it, to voice his concerns. He hadn't dared to hug him, even if at the time, he felt very clearly that he would never see him again. And even after, he hadn't dared to run after him in the night.

Sam had never been seen again by anyone. His boss had said he never got to work that morning, and of course nothing could ever disprove it. Maybe it was even true. But Isaac was sure it had been the boss’ fault. Or at least, he as been almost as sure of this that he was guilty of not giving him one last hug.

After the reading, Tim realizes that he is shaking. He knows exactly why this has been put on his desk. To make him feel that Peter Lukas was no better than the monster who had killed his brother. He feels manipulated, all the more so as it is working.

* * *

Tim isn't bothered a lot for a few days. Peter tries to talk to him exactly one time, but he must feel there's a possible confrontation here, because he immediately disappears, and Tim doesn't make the effort to catch up on him.

Jon and Martin don't come anymore. Tim tries only once to go to the Archives, unseen, to try and guess if their relationship survived... well, him, but none of them are there. Only Melanie, and Daisy... it seems that Tim was not the only one to miraculously survive the explosion, and he distantly wonders what price she has paid.

Time passes, and Tim can hide his feelings from Peter again. Be a good student. It doesn't mean he forgets, just that the statement became a part of himself, and not a recent addition he has to do something about.

And then, someone knocks at his door again. It must be Martin again. No one else ever knocks.

"You can enter," Tim answers, then immediately regrets it.

"I'd like to talk to you," Martin says.

"I had guessed. Have you gained some self-esteem since last time, or are you still dating Jon?"

Martin winces. Tim is waiting for an answer just as vicious, about Peter Lukas, but Martin doesn't mention the statement. Who else could have brought it here, though? It's his kind of passive aggressive manipulation.

"Not your business," Martin answers. "Did you know Jon was eating people?"

Tim stays speechless one moment, and Martin adds. "I mean, not like the cannibalism statements! But there was this man... on the boat to Norway... and when we got back Melanie told us about this woman... He's not only taking their statements by force, it makes them relive them in their nightmares! It makes six people already!"

"That seems bad," Tim answers, cautious but curious. Why is Martin telling him this?

"We can't let him become a monster!"

Tim laughs. "I guess so. Have you tried to tell him that it was wrong? Do you think it would help? Oh, I know the answer to this one."

"I did tell him! Two times, even before I knew about the nightmares. But..." He looks Tim in the eye. "I know it's wrong, but do you really think he's some kind of irredeemable monster, for doing it?"

"You won't like my answer," Tim says.

“We should stop him! He needs to stop!”

“Yeah. Well, keep trying, he won’t listen to you. He’s too much of an ass.”

"Maybe. I wanted your opinion, because one of these statements was about you.. A woman in a club.... It didn't even sound supernatural to her. But Jon could feel it, and... I think what Jon's doing is still wrong even if no one died. I think it’s wrong in general. And I wanted to tell you this."

Tim would almost laugh. He knew Martin was being manipulative, but he's better at it than Tim was giving him credit for. He did get Elias into prison, after all.

For now, he disappears into the mist and doesn't want to think of it as a defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Onna again for the beta, and for winternacht for sharing ideas about Lonely original statements!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More warning in the end notes.

Tim smells good.

The mist usually stifles smells, but it can't fully hide the musky smell of the young man when he talks to Peter, nonchalantly leaning against his desk. His back is arched, so their faces aren't excessively close, but his hips are almost touching Peter's and it takes an effort of will not to grab him...

He tries to think about something else. About how lucky he was with his bet. But when he thinks about how well Tim is doing, he thinks about his... nocturnal achievements, and how he poisoned the Archivist's relationship with his assistant... Tim didn't fuck Martin, though. Peter regrets that a bit, it would have been very nice to see without being seen. 

Tim laughs a soft, provocative laugh. "You're being really shy, boss. You've already fucked me, though."

Peter is not _shy_. He's not afraid to talk to people, while wanting the connection. He's happy to not have the connection. It's not what he seeks when he grabs Tim's neck, almost cradles it. Next to Peter’s big hand, it seems so frail. With the other hand Peter opens his trousers.

Tim hums joyfully as he shakes his hips, letting the trousers slide down his legs. He doesn't say a word, and he's infuriating, being so shamelessly appealing.

"It doesn't mean a thing," Tim says, as he sits casually on the desk, kicking his trousers the rest of the way off. Peter's cock jolts in his pants. Of course it doesn't mean anything, that's what makes this so enjoyable, although... Peter probably likes it a bit too much. He undresses Tim fully, because he's too nice to look at, everyone who doesn't do this is a fool. And then he pushes him softly, until Tim is lying on his back on the desk, legs fully spread and raised. He's touching his own cock shamelessly, pumping himself erect and big. Peter doesn't need this, except that it makes him hard enough to enter Tim with the tip of his cock.

Peter goes slowly, he doesn't want it to hurt. Pain is too personal for his tastes. Even this height of pleasure is a bit too much for him, but this - this is worth it. After he comes, he even watches Tim finish himself and smile. It's maybe too intimate, but he can't stop looking. 

"So?" he asks.

"You have weird friends, but Fairchild explains things better than you," Tim answers, still naked. That's fair. "I'll do it."

Peter doesn't take Tim in his arms, that would be ridiculous, but he can't help breathing in his musky, delicious smell. Like victory, he thinks.

* * *

They're walking through the corridors, to Elias' secret underground lair, with the help of an old Leitner. Peter doesn't want to take any risk - or maybe he just wants to impress Tim - and starts to read.

"What are you doing?" Tim asks.

"Leaving a bit of a problem if someone tries to come after us," Peter jokes. Elias told him about the monster Leitner trapped there. As its voice starts to resonate in the corridors, Tim turns pale and grabs Peter's hand.

"Trap this thing back!"

"Trying to protect your friends?" Peter mocks. "Or just afraid?"

But Tim only squeezes Peter's wrist hard enough to hurt, and answers fiercely. "I don't care about them. They can't stop me and you know it. I care about this thing. I want it to hurt. Crush it tighter."

Really, it's hard to resist when asked so nicely, and already, Peter is reading the right paragraphs to imprison it again.

* * *

Tim listens to the explanation of the Panopticon, looks intensely at Jonah Magnus' body. It is old and dusty, but it still breathes, and Tim glares at it with intent curiosity. Peter tries to persuade himself it's good.

Tim has done well as a Lonely avatar. Peter would like to stop all this and invite him into the family. He holds the hope that the Panopticon will reject Tim, telling him he doesn't belong to the Eye. But that would probably only end in horrible death. Peter is not sure about the quality of his lies, to be fair. He's proud enough of them if they work.

"Can't you just... vanish him?" Tim asks, shrugging.

"He's a bit too powerful for that in the Eye's place of power, I fear."

"Then why won't you do it yourself?" This boy is asking the right questions, but Peter still has a trump card.

"You know who it is, I guess?"

"I've seen some portraits, sure... Whoever founded the Institute would be up to nothing good."

"You know this man has stolen identity after identity to keep his place at the Head of the Institute. His original body is here, but he has... gotten around quite a lot."

"Rather a distasteful choice of words," Elias interrupts. "Tim could have guessed, but we never really saw eye to eye, did we?"

Peter grumbles inside, because it's an awful joke, and because Elias is not meant to interrupt them! It's not part of their bet!

"So you were just pretending to be in prison," Tim snarls. "Martin never really brought you down. It doesn't even surprise me."

Tim hates Elias, and Peter knows he can count on that - but he's wary. Elias is good at turning situations to his advantage. Peter tries to ignore him, but he can't.

"I think you would have wanted to do it yourself," Peter says with a smile.

"So you want me to kill him," Tim tells Peter, "and you won't do it yourself, and you,' he points at Elias, "You would rather die than help your colleague to stop the end of the world, and I'm meant to believe that you're not playing with me!"

"You can believe whatever you want," Elias says with a smile. 

"Just kill him!" Peter answers. He knows that Elias' smile can give him too many things.

"You have the advantage, Tim," Elias comments. "I know that, by your standards, I'm a monster. Not that Peter and yourself aren't, by exactly the same standards, but I don't think it matters to you? I wonder, did you kill Nikola Orsinov because she was a monster, or because she hurt you personally?"

"Buy one, get one free," Tim answers, teeth gritted.

"You didn't care about saving the world, and you certainly didn't care that other people would die. I'm grateful Jon has survived, but I don't think you are. You wouldn't care whether your... former coworkers died if I did. I remember you telling Miss King you didn't care, but of course, you were among the potential victims at that point. She was too. Oh, you know she escaped, don't you? I fear you no longer can - escaping the Eye would just bind you entirely to your other master."

Peter really hates that Elias can use words. But then, Tim put the knife Peter gave him on the throat of Jonah Magnus' corpse.

"Tell me everything you know about the Extinction. Look now. Everything that it's possible to know from this place."

"I don't have to do it," Elias protests, but his voice is weak.

"No, you don't. But you would be saving so many people. Including yourself." Tim starts cutting. There's no blood, the body is too old. Elias looks in pain, and Tim smiles at him.

"It... the emergence is slow, and we have the time! It also means we can do nothing now, no avatar to kill. But it will happen. It will - probably not destroy the world, only claim a few people, like they do."

Peter is almost sure that it's a defeat for him, not getting Tim to kill Elias, and he's angry about it. But Elias has promised not to tell his assistants the truth about the Extinction - which means he cheated - and maybe none of them can claim their prizes, Peter won't mark Elias' archivist even if he hasn't died...

And then Tim cuts Jonah Magnus' throat.

As it doesn't bleed, he goes deeper, will all his strength, until the head is almost separated from the body, and Elias is in its death throes, on the floor. Peter is - he's quite glad about it, given the alternative, but he knows if he hadn't the Lonely wrapped around him like a mantle, he would feel nostalgic.

"Why did you do it?" he asks, with some admiration in his voice. He hopes that Tim won't have to take Elias' place, will believe Elias - he was not lying, after all, only by omission. He hopes Tim will come with him.

Tim shrugs. "I wanted to."

Peter hears himself laughing. "And do you want to take his place?"

Tim moves forward, in Peter's direction, rolling his hips. "No. Unless you think he lied?"

"I don't," Peter says. The Panopticon fades away, as they both disappear into the Lonely mist.

There is a very long silence, and all this time, Tim smiles. Peter isn't sure if he should ask or just state the fact: that Tim no longer works for the Institute, that there's no longer any Institute, and it's time for Peter to ask him to join his family.

"Go fuck yourself," Tim says, still smiling.

Peter doesn't answer, but he can't hide his shock.

"I know what you want. You're not the first one. You even know you're not the first one, you saw me feed, and still you fucked me. How stupid can you be? I pledged myself to your god, not to you. I will never fuck you again. I won't... marry you or whatever the fuck you want." His smile becomes wider. "I can despise more than one person, you know - and I offer to your own god the few crumbs left of your stale soul. Like you did to so many people."

And then he disappears, leaving the Lonely, maybe, or - Peter is afraid he just escaped deeper than Peter himself ever went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The warning: Elias dies in this one.


	6. Chapter 6

Jon felt it, that Tim was going down the corridors. He knows that he will pay for this knowledge - that he will get very weak, if he doesn't... eat. But he regrets nothing, and he certainly won't let it get lost.

"I'm going to stop him," he tells Martin.

He won't lie to him again. Martin still resents him for what he let Tim do to him, and who wouldn't? They haven't talked about it, not enough.

"I'm going with you," Martin says. "We'll get him back, and then I'll slap him myself."

Jon breathes easier, even if it means more conflict later. Not now, at least. And they start walking into the tunnels. Jon feels like he's following a thread, leading him to where he must be.

"I'm sorry," he tells Martin.

"Yeaaaah, you already told me this. And then you got all weird at the part of the apology where you explain why it's wrong, oh, and also that you won't do it again."

Jon sighs. He can't contest this. He wonders sometimes, if offering Martin sex as an apology would make things better or even worse. He can understand it's important to him. But he can't promise... he thinks about getting Tim back all the time. Sasha is dead, but there is hope...

He told him, of course, about the possibility of removing his eyes to escape. Tim - he was angry when he said it was too late, and maybe it was good, to have him show emotion? Jon doesn't know anymore.

They're walking fast. Jon tries to take Martin's hand. Martin doesn't stop him, but he doesn't clutch back either. Jon wonders once more if he has spoiled everything. He's sure, he's almost sure - if his relationship with Martin was better, healthier, Tim could have done nothing to them, even with dark powers. He can almost hear Tim say it, with contempt.

And then it starts hurting.

He couldn't tell _where_ it hurts, it's in all his being but not in his body, in some organ he didn't know he had before it started being ripped apart. He tries not to pass out, concentrates on what he has to do - and then it stops hurting, and he feels the call, stronger than ever.

"Martin," he says. "Martin, wake up."

As he tries to wake him up with small taps, he discovers that Martin has not fainted from pain - well, maybe he has, since he won't talk, but his hand is icy cold. Jon tries to find a heartbeat, a breath, and finds neither. He starts to panic.

He knows Martin's alive, though. If he listens to the knowledge from the other side of the door in his head - and he doesn't know how to save him, but he knows he's led in this direction, the same where Tim is. Maybe it's not the truth. He needs to try anyway.

He tries to carry Martin, but he's too heavy for him. It hurts, leaving him alone, even in recovery position, but he has to. 

Finding his way is easier than it ever was. He's running, when he finds the chair, the old corpse in it, Elias's dead body on the floor. He understands what happened, because he has to understand. Elias told them that if he died, they would all die. He survived, the Eye doesn't want him to die, but Martin - and Basira, and Daisy...

He throws the old corpse on the floor, takes the chair. From here he can see. He can see what happened, Tim's choices and what he did to Elias and to Peter. He can see Martin, Daisy and Basira, hurting, still alive, but so close to death. Soon. They're fighting with all their human life.

He has tears in his eyes. It's not the time for this.

"Take me," he whispers. He doesn't need to call. The Eye knows everything. The Eye claimed him, saved his life, called him here, and now it's offering him more.

The knowledge enters him even more deeply as his body becomes an extension of the chair, or maybe the reverse. He knows what happened here, Tim's choice. He can see into the Lonely, that was meant to be lost to him. And as he gives his eyes to the Institute, he can see Basira, Daisy, Martin, slowly getting back on their feet, incredulous. Daisy craftily uses the opportunity to stab the hunter who believed she was dead. And Martin - Martin looks around, alone, and tries to find Jon.

Jon calls for him. He won't let him get lost. 

He wants to see him again.

Jon sees himself through Martin's eyes as he enters the central room. He looks like hell. Being connected to the Institute is not good for him. Martin looks better than him, and he almost died. He always looked better than him, Jon thinks with a small smile.

"What happened? Jon, please..."

Jon doesn't want to find the words. It's too painful. So he puts the knowledge directly in Martin's head: how they would all have died, how he took back the Institute from Jonah, how he still can feed from every statement but is stuck here, on the Panopticon chair, forever.

Martin goes pale. "No, Jon..."

He stops himself talking. He won't suggest that he do as Elias did, that he steal bodies, and Jon is grateful for this.

Martin takes Jon's hands. Jon can't feel the warmth, even if he can Know it's there.

"Will you need food? Tea? Statements? I'll come often."

"I'll need nothing," he answers. Not even the statements, as long as the Institute keeps filling his role, he can get them from where he is.

"Please tell me you still want me?"

Jon feels very much, at this moment, that his heart is still beating. He grasps Martin's hand in answer, nor daring to hope. "I mean... but... You broke up with me?"

"Yes, because you're stupid. I can't believe how stupidly self-sacrificing you are..."

And Martin starts to cry, big, salty tears falling on Jon's trousers. He stays here with him a long time, and Jon enjoys every second. Even when he leaves, Jon keeps looking at him from afar, powerful and able to keep him safe - but it's not the same.

* * *

Tim visits him only once, almost transparent, even for Jon. He doubts anyone else would see him. He nods to greet him, though.

"The Lonely won, after all," he says. And he feels it very dearly, missing Martin, missing having a life, missing Tim even as he's here. He'll never get him back.

"It did," Tim nods.

"Are you happy?" Jon asks. 

Tim gives him a black look.

It isn't compulsion, and Tim doesn't answer, but the answer still flows to Jon, how he is not - he doesn't regret anything, what he did to Elias and Peter even less, but having no monster in his immediate life makes him reevaluate, not what he did, but what he'll need to do. Or maybe he'll just die. He hasn't decided yet.

Jon swallows hard. "You saved the world, Tim." His knowledge reaches further than it ever did, and now that he's taken Elias' place - he knows what he wanted, what he had planned for him. He also knows he would have jumped into the Lonely to get Tim back, and in the best case scenario he would never have returned.

"Yeah, of course, I know," Tim answers. But they aren't talking about the same thing, and before Jon can explain, Tim has already left.


End file.
